Funny smartass quotes about life

Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”-. Groucho Marx. “No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you feel rich.”. Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened. Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one is a life diminished.”. – Dean Koontz.

2. “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow! What a Ride!'”. Hunter S. Thompson.7. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”. — Billy Wilder. 8. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”. — Charles M. Schulz. 9. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”.Sarcastic Kitchen Quotes. No Bitchin’ In My Kitchen. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, so they say. But when it comes to kitchen quotes, some of those sarcastic sayings are also the funniest. Annoying the cook will result in STARVATION. Calories don’t count on the weekend. Cheese – Milk’s leap towards imortality.Jan 17, 2020 - Explore Igor Cherkas's board "COMEBACKS AND INSULTS", followed by 445 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about comebacks and insults, funny quotes, sarcastic quotes.MGM. Below is our list of the top 20 Arnold Schwarzenegger movie quotes. If you disagree then perhaps you shouldn't "stick around" and we'll "consider that a divorce". “I’ll be back ...Enjoy reading and share 100 famous quotes about Smartass with everyone ... Master of Stupidity: If I tell you, there is nobody left to be made fun of. — Toba Beta. Smartass Disciple: Master, that guy's teaching is somehow ... Well, I forget. Shit happened, life goes on. — Toba Beta. Smartass Disciple: Master, can you trust this bank to keep ...

1. “Not in doing what you like, but in liking what you do is the secret of happiness.” —J.M. Barrie ( August 1933) 2. “My father gave me the best advice of my life. He said, ‘Whatever ...Aug 28, 2020 - Explore Enchanted Tea's board "Badass quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about badass quotes, quotes, life quotes.The dumber you are, the smarter you think you are. Click The Pin For More Funny Quotes. Share the Cheer - Please Re-Pin. #funny #funnyquotes #quotes #quotestoliveby #dailyquote #wittyquotes #oneliner #joke Funny quotes about marriage. 1. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates. 2. “If you want to be sure ...Sep 19, 2023 - These sassy sarcastic quotes fuel our day, every day. It's like the vision board that personifies us. We're sassy, sarcastic, quirky, snarky, and smartass-y! I don't care vinyl decal, funny car sayings, funny window sitcker, leave me alone decal, funny vehicle quotes, smartass humor, cocky sticker (4.5k) $ 6.99 If there's one word I struggle with the most, it's "balance." I have come to the conclusion, after years of searching through sweaty palms and skyrocketing pulse rates, that there is absolutely, undeniably, no su...10. "Me thinking about my life." 11. "When you're an adult but you feel like a kid faking their way through life." 12. "When everything is going wrong in your life but you're used to it." 13. "Me ...

There are always two opinions: Mine and the wrong one. (Unknown) A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string. (George Dennison Prentice) Life has no legs, but it can certainly give you a kick in the butt.Breakup Quotes. Quotes tagged as "breakup" Showing 1-30 of 1,045. “I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain.Funny Witty Quotes. "Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece." ~ Ralph Charell. "If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them." ~ Reese Witherspoon. "A person is wise if he listens to millions of advice and doesn't implement any of it." ~ Michael Bassey Johnson.2. “Admit it…. Life would be boring without me”. 3. “I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid and others I would love to punch in the face.”. 4. “Sometimes the thoughts in my head get bored and stroll out through my mouth. This is …If you’re looking for funny quotes to make you smile, to give a toast with, or to send to a loved one, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve curated the best funny quotes and sayings that cover everything from everyday life to relationships and even work!

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Mahatma Gandhi. Difficult and meaningful will always bring more satisfaction than easy and meaningless. Maxime Lagacé. Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. Marcus Aurelius. Change your thoughts and you change your world. Norman Vincent Peale.These bright pupils came up with the funniest test answers harnessing the powers of puns and their creativity. Reasons for choosing to answer the questions this way are unknown, but we have a strong feeling, that the hard questions brought out some A-class smartasses out. The tricky question, though, is if a kid answers to a problem on a …The funniest and most ridiculous quotes from literature, from Hardy's "Let us toss as men do" to Agatha Christie's "four-starred Pussy." Laugh-out-loud quotes from books Application error: a ...Discover and share Funny Grandson Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.Short Funny Life Quotes. 1. “The road to success is always under construction.” — Lily Tomlin. 2. “Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.” …

Nov 8, 2019 - Explore Tomas Zuniga's board "smartass quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about quotes, smartass quotes, life quotes.Funny sayings about turning 60 can be found on various websites, such as JokeQuote and 60th Birthday Wishes. A good example is a quote by Pablo Picasso, who declared, “One starts to get young at the age of sixty, and then it is too late.”Here are a few: “Life is not about finding yourself; it’s about creating yourself.”. – George Bernard Shaw. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.”. – Steve Jobs. “In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.”. – Sun Tzu. “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.”. – Dalai Lama.Quotes tagged as "funny" Showing 1-30 of 9,860. “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America ...Humor Quotes. “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”. “So many books, so little time.”. “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”.I'm Kind of a Mix of Sweetheart Smartass im a Real Package Deal Shirt, Sarcastic Quotes Shirt, Western Smartass Shirt, Funny Mom Tee, N450 (316) ... Don't be a smartass that job is taken svg shirt design for the smartass in your life. (1.3k) $ 2.99. Add to Favorites ...There are no limits to what you can achieve on your journey through life, except in your mind.”. “Stop comparing yourself to other people, just choose to be happy and live your own life.”. 3452 quotes have been tagged as inspirational-life: Roy T. Bennett: ‘Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind.7. The kind of life motivation I need. "Life will be boring AF if you never mess up.". 8. Sometimes you need to indulge the sense of humor of *LIFE*. "When something goes wrong in your life, just say 'PLOT TWIST' and move on.". 9. But I want the ones with truffle and peanut butter. "Life is like a box of chocolates.One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.". "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.". "Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.". "Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.".

10. "Me thinking about my life." 11. "When you're an adult but you feel like a kid faking their way through life." 12. "When everything is going wrong in your life but you're used to it." 13. "Me ...

Dear Sunday, please don't leave me. I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield. There are only three things that women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock. You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.There are always two opinions: Mine and the wrong one. (Unknown) A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string. (George Dennison Prentice) Life has no legs, but it can certainly give you a kick in the butt. Barbra Streisand. Short Life, Life Is Too Short, Life Is Short. 29 Copy quote. The most powerful social media... it is not the internet, it is not Facebook - it is food. This connects all human beings.Smart Quotes. Quotes tagged as "smart" Showing 1-30 of 581. “Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”. ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. tags: acceptance , inspiration , inspirational , smart , understanding , wise. 4131 likes. Like.Asshole Dad And Smartass Daughter Best Friends For Life. Tags: asshole dad, ... Responsible Quote Shirt,Sarcastic Tee,Smartass Shirt,Funny Sarcasm Shirt, perfect gift ...Smart Quotes. Quotes tagged as "smart" Showing 1-30 of 581. “Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”. ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. tags: acceptance , inspiration , inspirational , smart , understanding , wise. 4131 likes. Like.Nov 1, 2012 - #Quotes #Advice #Sayings. See more ideas about sayings, quotes, words.

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Life. Funny Love. Hilarious. Funny Inspirational. Enjoy our funny life quotes collection. Best funny life quotes selected by thousands of our users!Just in case you can’t get the real thing today, here are some ridiculously funny parenting quotes that sum up life as we know it. We’ve pulled together the best of the best in hopes of giving you a laugh! 70 Funny Parenting Quotes that Sum Up Parenting to …Jan 30, 2023 · The meaning of life is to give life meaning. – Ken Hudgins; The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. – Nelson Henderson; When words fail, music speaks. – Shakespeare ; Embrace the glorious mess that you are. – Elizabeth Gilbert; Normality is a paved road: it’s comfortable to walk but no ... That is correct. You’ve stumbled upon a place that lists over 100 funny, witty, creative, and surprising ways to say “yes.”. The rest is up to you! Give me a "Y." Give me an "E." Give me an "S." Combine those …Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, is quoted as saying “change is the only constant in life.” This saying has also been translated to “the only constant is change.” Heraclitus is believed to have written a book where this saying was found; ho...10. "Me thinking about my life." 11. "When you're an adult but you feel like a kid faking their way through life." 12. "When everything is going wrong in your life but you're used to it." 13. "Me ...Jul 3, 2023 · Here are a few: “Life is not about finding yourself; it’s about creating yourself.”. – George Bernard Shaw. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.”. – Steve Jobs. “In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.”. – Sun Tzu. “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.”. – Dalai Lama. The meaning of life is to give life meaning. – Ken Hudgins; The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. – Nelson Henderson; When words fail, music speaks. – Shakespeare ; Embrace the glorious mess that you are. – Elizabeth Gilbert; Normality is a paved road: it’s comfortable to walk but no ... ….

Life is a sacrifice — offer it. Life is love — enjoy it." — Sathya Sai Baba. "Growth is the only evidence of life." — John Henry Newman. "A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not ...Funny Witty Quotes. “Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.” ~ Ralph Charell. “If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” ~ Reese Witherspoon. “A person is wise if he listens to millions of advice and doesn’t implement any of it.” ~ Michael Bassey Johnson.Sep 19, 2023 - These sassy sarcastic quotes fuel our day, every day. It's like the vision board that personifies us. We're sassy, sarcastic, quirky, snarky, and ...1. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life ."...5. “Life is short, and every moment is precious.”—. Gad Saad. Don’t forget to read these positive affirmations that help bring you joy and success in life. 6. “You may delay, but time ...31. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”—. Oscar Wilde. 32. “ The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are ...Oct 23, 2019 - Explore Melanie Reese's board "Funny Quotes", followed by 183 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny, bones funny.very short funny quotes about life funny phrase. 30. “Don’t be eye candy. Be soul food.”. 31. “My smart mouth always gets me in trouble, and if it’s not my mouth, it’s my facial expression.”. 32. “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”. 33.Smart Quotes. Quotes tagged as "smart" Showing 1-30 of 581. "Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.". ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. tags: acceptance , inspiration , inspirational , smart , understanding , wise. 4130 likes.7. "I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life." 8. "Life is like looking for your phone, most of the time it's in your hand." 9. "To be old and wise you must first be young and ... Funny smartass quotes about life, [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1], [text-1-1]